Get Smart Get Strong

My Love Affair – with Fage 0%

Darling Fage, I love you so.

Let me count the ways:

- A dollop with splenda instead of whipped cream

- Mixed into tuna or salmon with seasonings to make sandwiches instead of mayo

- Replacing sour cream in every recipe and to top potatoes or Mexican food

- Added to shakes and smoothies for rich, creamy taste and extra protein without fat

- Rich and creamy desserts – just add fruit and splenda

- To make amazing rye bread (see previous post)

Ah. Love.

Metabolic Screening Results

There was a free screening being offered at work this week. I realized that I was going to skip it because I was afraid I’d done a lot of damage in the last few months and sabotaged too much of my success. Well! We can’t have that. Must face facts. So I went to the screening and I’m so glad that I faced that fear. In reality, I’m still in really great shape. Blood pressure, cholesterol, blood sugar and all that stuff is just great. Off the charts good, in fact.  Yes, I’ve gained some weight. Yes, my BMI is back over 30 and yes my waist is more than the recommended 35″ for women. I’m working on that.

Even the health coach was impressed. When I started my song and dance about my weight and what I was doing to lose she pointed out that my numbers (which is their focus for health) were better than a lot of the thin people and it was obvious to her that I exercised a lot and ate healthy food.

Alright then.

No damage, except to my waistline. I can fix that! With time and attention and a lot of exercise. Yoga yesterday. Lots of walking every day on the treadmill. Strength training tomorrow. Yup. I can do it.

Charting 49 years of weight gain and loss

I have kept a pretty good record of my weight for the last 4 years. My gains and my losses. At Weight Watchers on Monday, our leader, Irene, suggested that everyone chart their weight loss. It’s a good way to bring a sense of perspective to the worry about a few pounds. Also a good way to see the trend that you are currently in – either losing or gaining.

I had done this for my results after weight loss surgery, but haven’t ever done it from birth. I don’t have specific numbers, but I took a stab at some of the ones I remember: birth, when I hit 100 pounds at 12 years old; high school graduation weight of 150; college graduation 220, meeting my husband at 200, highest during pregnancy with my son at 321 and then loss after pregnancy and gradual regain back up to 300′s before weight loss surgery process started.

So here it is, just the facts, ma’am:

Look at those huge ups and downs. Makes the current stress over 20 seem kind of silly. And if you look very, very carefully, you’ll see the slight downturn as of today because I’m down another 5 pounds. This  treadmill desk stuff ROCKS!

Have a great day. Find something that rocks your world today. Or just shakes it up a bit. It makes a difference.

Why is it so much work to focus on the positive?

What’s black and blue and sore all over? A 49 year old who goes snowboarding when there isn’t much snow!

Aching all over and I may have a slight case of whiplash from that last fall. My son fell a lot too. Kept getting snow/ice down his pants – we really have to get him a pair of bib snow pants. Even my husband fell – but that was because we were walking back to the bus to the parking lot and rushing to catch the bus before it left and he forgot to put his tread thingies on his boots. The result was that we all came home – starving – and soaked in hot tubs and took ibuprofen and

To make my son laugh when he got snow in his pants, I told him that he’d come down with a terrible case of ice ass. It always makes him giggle when I swear. Later, when it melted, we made up a new one called water butt.

I just re-read that and it doesn’t sound very fun. It was actually great. The sky was blue, there was no wind, it wasn’t unbearably cold and there was enough snow most places that the boarding was good. I tried a new run – which is big for me – I could stay on the same run all day, all week, all year if you let me. Which meant a new lift, which is always a challenge. I think the thing with me and the chair lift is that I got dragged once when we were in Austria or Switzerland or somewhere and people were shouting things at me in every language but English. They were trying to help and tell me to drop flat but I that was one phrase I hadn’t learned!

Oh but wait – I was focused on the good part. See how easy it is for me (especially this time of year) to forget the good and be completely focused on the bad?  It takes a real effort to remember lying on the snow at the top of the California run next to my son and looking at the lake and feeling the sun on our faces.

The picture at the top isn’t mine, I borrowed with pride from someone’s site, but it comes close. That’s what I want to remember from yesterday as I walk and type on my new treadmill desk.

This weekend I had a lot of plans: cleaning, organizing, paperwork, errands. Not much of that actually got done, but I did walk for about 10 hours and I snowboarded for about 2 hours and I spent time with my son and husband and our great dogs. And I lost 2 pounds. For those of you who have been keeping up, I have been trending UP on my weight since I lost my job in March. Even getting the new job didn’t help, though one of the big points for moving out here was a more active, healthy lifestyle. And it is. But I’ve not stuck to a lot of the things that I know work for me.

I think I’ve been pretending that I’m normal. That I can eat 2500 calories a day of whatever I want and not gain weight. Well, it ain’t so, bunkie, so deal with it. I have to eat very low carb to just not gain. If I want to lose, I have to avoid bread and potatoes and rice. I have to exercise a lot to not gain. I have to exercise really hard to lose fat and gain muscle. I have to take all my vitamins and supplements and drink a couple of  gallons of water. I have to get enough sleep. I have to have my stress level at a realistic level.

But wait, wasn’t I focused on the positive? So here’s a list of the things I’m doing right and I’m going to keep building on those today instead of focusing on the things I’m doing wrong:

- I lost and have kept off over 124 pounds. That means I’ve kept off over 82% of my lost weight.
- I am still exercising – in fact, I’m walking on my treadmill and using my new treadmill desk right now!
- I’m still AWARE. So many times in the past I would ignore or lie to myself about what was going on. There’s some of that going on now, but I catch myself and keep doing things to keep reality in focus like putting my weekly weight up on the fridge door so I can see the trend
- I’m taking most of my vitamins – I’d stopped for a bit and that was HORRIBLY dangerous and literally making me crazy, so that’s a good thing that I’ve started again
- I’m eating healthier ON AVERAGE than I used to when I was MO
- My pouch still works for me – I had a dumping syndrome yesterday because I ate a box of junior mints. (Let me tell you – mint dumping is one for the books and will not be happening again in my life time.)
- I’m still writing and blogging and I’ve come back to this site which is a life saver and will pull me back on track better than anything else
- I’ve started seeing a therapist
- I’m doing light therapy to address my depression
- I’m trying to reach out to friends (that’s really hard when I’m depressed)
- I’m trying to be loving and patient with myself – keep the self talk more positive but firm and realistic

And to show how mentally healthy I am, I’m not going to list the 100+ things I think I should be doing or doing better! Ha!

Treadmill Desk

Remember the movie Nim’s Island and Jodie Foster’s character who is an agoraphobic who never leaves her house? She’s a writer and she uses her laptop while walking on the treadmill. I guess the idea has been in the back of my mind ever since I saw the movie. Recently, with the weight gain and wanting to get in more steps for this challenge at work, the idea came back and I started doing some research.

It’s actually a pretty cool field of study. Dr. James Levine of the Mayo Clinic came up with the idea of a “Treadmill Desk”. The idea is to slowly walk on a treadmill while working at a desk built around the treadmill…a Treadmill Desk. Here are more details and some pictures: http://www.treadmill-desk.com. His research suggests that by not doing anything else, if we walked on the treadmill while we worked, instead of sitting in front of a desk for eight hours, that we’d lose 57 pounds in one year. In addition, his patients report feeling more refreshed after a day walking than from a day sitting at their desk. This is one of those things that make you go hmmmmmmm.

So then I started thinking about what I wanted from my treadmill desk:

• Needed to be the right height for comfort and to avoid carpel tunnel kinds of issues
• Needed to be stable – can’t have the laptop falling off and then stepping on it
• Needed to be a certain depth to allow me plenty of room to walk without bumping into it
• Needed to be a certain width to fit on the treadmill and not overlap into the already crowded bedroom
• Needed to be able to reach the treadmill controls to start and stop, change speed or elevation and adjust the fan
• Needed to be free or super cheap as we are on the tightest budget that I’ve been on since college

We have some Elfa shelves and initially I thought I’d do something with that, but I really wanted a curved front and you just can’t cut the MDF material easily. Plus, those shelves are expensive – I didn’t want to ruin one.

So I stopped at a thrift store in town. You all know my addiction to thrift stores and I had not gone to this one before. We’re broke, we don’t really need anything and so I was staying away. But this was a pretty good excuse, right? I needed something for my treadmill desk! I was amazingly lucky and found an old wooden bed tray. It has a raised edge around the sides which keeps stuff from slipping off AND it has a curved front which makes it easier to walk in front of it. Best of all, it was only $5.

I brought it home and took off the stand (luckily just screwed into the bottom, not glued). So far so good, but it was too narrow to fit across the treadmill arms, so I would need something to rest it on. I found a piece of pine left over from another project (you know we NEVER throw anything away) and that was the perfect length but a little narrow. I used a c-clamp to attach the tray to the board and that felt pretty solid. But it was much too low for comfort. I tried to find the styrofoam blocks suggested on the website, but the three places I checked didn’t have them. I started earching through the garage thinking that with all the stuff we shipped from Atlanta, there must be some packing materials there other than boxes and paper. Then I spotted the JK Adams wine rack sitting on top of the shelf. Hmm. Modular. Width seemed about right to fit over the handles and the top would provide a nice open base for the tray and board.

I used a two bottle section on each side, removed the cross pins from the bottom row and viola! A rest for my desk tray. It was too loose, so I wrapped paper around the handles and then pushed the wine rack sections down over the paper, adding more until it was tight enough to hold the wine rack without jiggling.

Then I used a couple more c-clamps to attach the board to the wine rack. Eventually I may glue the stuff together, but want to try it with the c-clamps for now to allow for any re-engineering ideas that crop up.

Mine doesn’t look as cool and groovy as the pictures on Dr Levine’s website, but it works! I’m typing while walking 2 mph. I was surfing on Facebook a few minutes ago. Guilt free Facebook – how cool is that? I’ve been going for about 20 minutes now and it’s great. I could probably crank up the speed or the incline, but I’ll try that another day. I’m going to turn on my light therapy box too.

This makes me feel very positive. I made some progress this week facing and dealing with my stress related grazing so that’s good too. And it’s the final week of the walking challenge so I’m motivated to walk all day for the next week because my team is in 11th place and I want to finish in at LEAST the top 10.

Everyone have a great day and let me know what you think of my new treadmill desk or if you have any ideas to improve it.

Eating in the light of the moon

Someone tossed me a lifeline this morning. Dr Anita Johnston, author of Eating in the Light of the Moon. She read my blog post from January when I was talking about taking those first shaking steps off the path I’d set for myself: http://getsmartgetstrong.com/2011/01/19/eating-by-the-light-of-the-moon

Interestingly, I also wrote in that post about a co-worker who was new in town and struggling with the job and not having friends and family close by. Rang a few bells for me. Maybe I need to go back and read my own blog, remind myself of who I am and what I’ve learned.

Yesterday I went to Weight Watchers and weighed in at 200.4. That means that I’m close to leaving Onederland. Something I worked for so hard and so long. Am I really going to let that happen?

Hell no!

Need to get off the computer and get on the treadmill.

Pray for me. Send positive thoughts. Call me. Email me. Remind me of who I am and what I can do. I need that.

Gratitude: I’m not alone

I’m not someone who likes to think that I need anyone else. I’ve always prided myself on being able to take care of myself, do what needs to be done and an innate ability to survive. (Hilariously, I first wrote that as inane ability to survive and thought about leaving it!)

Where was I? Oh, right, surviving. Innately or inanely, I’m a survivor. I go through the worst case scenario in my head about losing my husband and know that my son and I would survive, financially, and eventually, after more grief than I care to imagine, we’d survive emotionally as well. Life would not be as good, as rich, as warm and as loving, but we’d be okay. Eventually.

Being able to survive without him isn’t the point, though. The point is that I am not alone. I have this amazing love in my life. This warmth and support. Even when I’m at my lowest, he can make me smile. In all the 48 years of my life, very few people have been able to do that. A few rare friends. It’s that day to day connection: wake up and hug; hug and go to sleep. Smile in between. That’s what I’m grateful for today.

Just wanted to say.

Astrology thoughts on 11.11.11 at 11.11.11

I love numbers. Which is odd considering how much I hate math. But I’m pretty stoked about it being November 11, 2011 today. And at precisely 11 seconds into the 11th minute of the 11th hour, I’m going to post this.Or try – I suspect all the other nuts like me will be trying to do the same thing!

Today I did my astrology chart. Seemed appropriate. Plus my new therapist is really into it. I thought, lunacy! But then, hey, I’m interested in that stuff anyway, so I did it. Those who know me, tell me what you think. Is it really as spot on as I think it is???

Rising Sign is in 20 Degrees Aries
You are a free spirit and you must be first at everything you do. Very energetic, self-assertive and active, things must be done your way. Even though you may feel calm and serene on the inside, you certainly do not act that way. You want to do everything full-tilt, 100 miles per hour! A great competitor, but a poor cooperator — you must learn how to lose more gracefully. Very self-confident, ambitious and passionate, you radiate positive energy. You are blunt and direct, but at times unfeeling and tactless, especially if anyone offers you any resistance. You fight for your beliefs, but your tendency to act first and think later often causes you much grief.

Sun is in 25 Degrees Pisces.
Extremely sensitive and emotional, you absorb the emotions of others (whether positive or negative) like a sponge. Emotionally vulnerable, you are easily upset and tend to cry readily. You are at your best when you can structure your environment in such a way that you are surrounded by positive, upbeat people. You are very helpful and understanding of the needs of others. Indeed, at times this can be a disadvantage, because you can be a sucker for anyone who needs help. Shy, dreamy, romantic in nature, you delight in retreating into your private fantasy world. Just be careful that you do not get lost in it! Trust your intuitions — you may be quite psychic.

Moon is in 03 Degrees Sagittarius.
An idealist, you prefer the grand, the beautiful, the good and the noble. You get very disappointed when your high expectations in life are not met. Very curious by nature, you enjoy traveling and learning about other peoples and cultures. Try to avoid your tendency to ignore the small but important details of living. You are independent and free, and you want others to be that way, too. Optimistic, buoyant and cheerful, others like to have you around. You have an incessant desire to learn as much as possible about metaphysics, religion, philosophy and any other broad, deep subject. Your life tends to be punctuated by bursts of energy and frenetic activity.

Mercury is in 12 Degrees Pisces.
Your ideas and thought processes do not come to you in an orderly, logical fashion. Instead, you think with your feelings or with images produced by your rich and fertile imagination. A very subjective person, your dreams and fantasies are very important to you. You trust your intuitions and tend to reject ideas that are based solely on logic. Very impressionable, you are sensitive to the moods and emotional states of those with whom you come into contact.

Venus is in 14 Degrees Aquarius.
You are a friendly and outgoing individual, but close relationships are difficult for you to maintain due to your fear that they will cause you to lose your freedom. You attract friends and associates who are exciting, different and sometimes a bit odd. You are popular with others and enjoy working within a group toward group goals.

Mars is in 05 Degrees Leo.
You are a very proud person. Strong, bold, courageous and self-possessed, you love to be the one to initiate significant actions. When people expect a lot of you, you respond positively and will work hard in order to maintain their respect. But when your dignity or pride is threatened, you tend to become sarcastic, arrogant and domineering. Try not to take any challenge or resistance that you meet as a personal affront. You are very stubborn about your right to live your life according to your own principles.

Jupiter is in 25 Degrees Pisces.
You are at your best when you give of yourself and what you have — try to avoid being a martyr about it, though. You’re a true idealist, but you must learn not to be upset when life does not cooperate with the way you think things should be. Very concerned with spiritual truth and growth, when you practice what you preach, you make an excellent role model for others. You are so devoted to altruistic ventures and concerns that you tire easily at times. It then becomes necessary for you to go off by yourself to recharge your batteries.

Saturn is in 18 Degrees Aquarius.
Your personal sense of values is a reflection of the value structures of your peer group and of those you respect and admire. Try to be more critical in your acceptance of these values — you tend to prejudge the abilities of those you trust and then follow what they say blindly. Basically very conservative, you prefer orderly, systematic changes and fear doing things rashly or impulsively. Ideas and philosophies must have some sort of immediately realizable, utilitarian function in order for you to pay any attention to them.

Uranus is in 02 Degrees Virgo.
You, and all your peers, will be known for the degree of intensity with which you dislike normal everyday routines and chores. You will go out of your way to invent innovative, unique and timesaving ways to perform the various mundane routines and duties of living. You will be attracted to all manner of practical and useful gadgets — anything that will make your daily life more exciting.

Neptune is in 15 Degrees Scorpio.
You, and your entire generation, are extremely interested in anything deep and mysterious. You will explore and idealize the benefits that can accrue from the study of the occult, healing and psychology. You are willing to experiment with substances like drugs in order to push your understanding of your inner being to the extreme.

Pluto is in 10 Degrees Virgo.
For your entire generation, this will be a time when profound changes in society’s attitude toward work, duty and responsibility will be initiated. Radical changes in attitudes toward personal health and general nutrition will be promulgated and gain wide acceptance and practice.

N. Node is in 27 Degrees Cancer.
You genuinely enjoy meeting other people, but you’re at your best if you can do so from the comfort of your own home. You prefer others to come to you and tend to feel uncomfortable about leaving your home or neighborhood for any extended period of time. Those who do come in contact with you are struck by your caring and obliging nature — you really make them feel at home. You form the closest ties, however, with members of your immediate family, especially your parents and children. You’re at your best attending or organizing family reunions!