5:39 AM Good morning! Look at that – made it a whole minute earlier today. I’ve got my glass of water, the dogs have been let out and back in to sit on my feet and I’m ready to WRITE!
Weight Loss Therapy Last night was my session with Dr. Rebeca Moore, the weight loss therapist that I’ve been seeing since August of last year – right before my surgery. I knew that I needed a counselor and I wanted her to know me at my pre-surgery weight and attitude. I figured that way she would be able to tell when I was lying to either of us.
Thirty years of therapy I started counseling when I was a very angry and out of control teenager. Despite being as wide as I was tall and one of the smart kids in school, I was always getting into fights. So I got sent to counseling. Not a great fit – she was sweet and gentle and I needed someone to call me on my BS. Plus back then I just followed the family line of everything is fine, what do you mean? Not a lot of progress.
College Therapy I did better with college therapy – got to take advantage of some great minds at Yale New Haven. I worked through a lot of issues and learned how to express my emotions – well, actually, I think I just learned how to FEEL them again. They were just beaten out of me to the point where I refused to allow myself to cry or to feel sadness.
Finally learning Now, though it is still far from normal or even comfortable for me, I am able to feel and express my emotions much more than I ever have.
Skin on Skin This week’s “practice” is to have four times a day when I’m ‘skin on skin’ with my husband and son. When they wake up (or I get back from the gym), when I leave for work, get home from work and before bed. We already hug and kiss at those times, but I am going to focus on relaxing into it more and not rushing off to the next thing that needs to be done. (That’s one of the down sides of being a project manager – I’m always thinking about the next thing on my list).
Bed Time Nights are the hardest for me, because while I get up at o’dark thirty, the boys are happy to stay up til all hours and then sleep late – which works if you are homeschooled but not if you are trying to get up and write and get to the gym before work. So usually my husband does the bed time ritual. Last night was nice, because with the new camp schedule, everyone is going to bed early. I got to tuck in my son and kiss him goodnight and then fell asleep listening to my husband read the night time story.
Emotional Intelligence While I’ve always realized that my IQ was high and been able to leverage that in school and work, my EQ has always been – lacking! I started working with an Executive Coach last year, Jodie Charlop from Potential Matters. I was frustrated because of my lay off. People that I felt didn’t get as much done were still there, but I was gone.
There’s a Reason for That! Working with her I learned to ask for and get feedback and learned that I’m just not a comfortable person to work with. I’m too demanding on myself and others. I am driven and focused on the to-do list and not on my co-workers. At first I resisted the idea that it was not a waste of time to chat and get to know my fellow cubicle slaves.
Experimenting I tried being more outgoing and getting to know people at my new job. It has made such a difference in how I feel about my job and also, how easy it is to do my job. Yes, I spend more time talking and less time working, but I’m not having to battle the attitude problems that I thought other people had. Well, they had attitude, but it was because I started it! <LOL>
People Matter I’ve always been aware of what my immediate family or my very best friends were doing. I would remember what was going on in their lives and their birthdays and special occasions (eventually). And I’ve always admired my best girlfriends, who remember that for EVERYONE they know. Although I’m not to their level, I feel like I’m making progress and getting to know people. I spend time saying hello and how are you – even on instant messaging.
Impact on Weight Loss I think the way that has helped me with the weight loss is two fold: one, I’m not so stressed at work. Its a much more relaxed environment and I don’t feel the need to stress eat as much. And when I do feel it, I can usually distract myself with a coffee break with one of my team members. Two, because we are friendly, they notice my weight loss, they notice what I’m eating or if I ride my bike to work. So I get a lot of positive feedback.
Fat and Ugly Days Yesterday I was having what Geneen Roth calls a “Fat and Ugly” attack. I got on the scales at the gym and they are so different from mine, that I appeared to have gained four pounds. Now, I know that I haven’t gained four pounds, but because I was using two different scales (who am I kidding? There’s not a scale in Atlanta I don’t step on) I hadn’t really made as much progress as I thought. So I got to work and was feeling all down and someone stopped by to congratulate me on how good I looked. She said she could tell that I was continuing to work out and lose weight and she made me feel great. There’s nothing better than that!
Well, gotta go – Body Sculpting Class this morning – have a transformed day!