Soldier without a Fight

I have been amazingly successful  at losing weight in the last year. I honestly believe that it was not just because of weight loss surgery, but because I’ve worked hard.

I have spent countless hours researching so that I could learn a lot of important information. I have honed my project management skills and created plans that have helped not only me, but my friends be successful.

I have learned to exercise and even though I started from a very low-level of ability, I have made tremendous progress and have become an athlete.

I’ve worked through a lot of mental problems and overcome fears and stumbling blocks that have kept me prisoner in an obese body most of my life.

I have reached and exceeded my original goal of being a size 14 regular. I am now a size 12 and I KNOW that I”m going to keep losing.

I have battled obesity and I have won. I have been a good soldier.

Now I have a new challenge. I have to learn to live in peacetime. Without a battle, without a struggle, I find myself lost. Creating artificial drama and situations that require me to fight and struggle again.

I have been struggling for the last couple of weeks. Going off plan and skipping my workouts  with the predictable result of gaining weight. Which I then had to scramble the troops to fight. A skirmish!

All these thoughts were discussed today during my weight loss therapy session. As we talked, my stress started to drop away. By the end of the hour I felt so much better. So much more focused and in control. Because I really am in control. In control of the plan. In control of my reactions. In control of my life.

I accept my new challenge: to learn to live the life I’ve worked so hard to create and make the transition from fighting to recover from illness to living in a state of wellness.

So here is the  action plan I came away with:

  • Go back to my basic habits. Which includes making sure I get to bed on time so I can get up and execute my plans every day
  • Continue with the yoga, but explore meditation or Tai Chi – work on my ability to relax and be comfortable with a state of peace so I don’t subconsciously create more battles to fight
  • Continue with my writing – work on my book so I have a good mental challenge
  • Take up a new physical challenge – scuba diving
  • Schedule some date nights with Fred so we have a social life

I’ve got my plan. I’m ready to face tomorrow.

2 thoughts on “Soldier without a Fight

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