Last night I did not want to exercise. I was tired, I didn’t do any real exercise except scuba class since my 5k on Thursday, class was canceled on Monday and frankly, I was deeply afraid of how much boot camp was going to hurt. Fred had a user’s group meeting last night, so Jacob was supposed to go with me to the gym. They have a kids’ room there plus, he has his laptop and as he reminds me, games in his head, so he was fine.
But I so wanted to use that as an excuse not to go. But I kept thinking about his face and how proud of me he has been. He calls me his skinny mommy and tells me I’m beautiful.
I can’t stop now. Actually, I can’t EVER stop, because then I’ll lose all the ground I’ve gained. I’ll go back to not having any balance and falling down.
I’ll go back to not fitting in my clothes and then I’ll be naked because I am NOT buying any more fat clothes. If I gain weight, I have pledged to be naked until I lose it again. And I mean it. I just packed up all my size 16 and bigger size 14’s for the Goodwill and Dress for Success. I need to go down and put them into the car NOW so that I can drop them off and get them out of the house. Before they start to look appealing.
I find it strange that I’ve started to fantasize about gaining the weight back. Of slipping back into my old habits as if they were a set of comfortable clothes.
Just needed a wake up call and fortunately, my son provided one for me last night. Boot camp again tonight and tomorrow night. Scuba class on Friday. Saturday is yoga. Sunday is an all day manual labor day at my sister’s new bar and Monday is a long bike ride, swim and picnic with the boys, then back to boot camp for the final week.
After bootcamp, I’m going to start swimming and running again. Also, I’ll be biking to work now that it is cooler and I don’t have bootcamp across town after work. With the scuba on Fridays and yoga on Saturdays and bike rides on Sundays, I just need to add some weight lifting in there a couple of times a week. There’s a good 6:30 am body sculpting class or kickboxing every morning of the week.
Ah. I feel better when I have a plan.