Stress Eating

I had a great day until about 3pm.

It started out with a compliment and a dropped jaw at the dry cleaners when my dry cleaners’ wife, who hadn’t seen me in a while, could not believe how much I had lost.

Then Weight Watchers where I lost 1.8 pounds (finally beat the plateau!) and then the Great Janedini, my WW leader, said really awesome things about how I’ve done WLS the way people should do it. Made me cry. In a good way.

Got a great new project at work and got good feedback on how I handled the initial kickoff.

Then at about 3 everything just went to hell in a handbag. For no real reason.

I mean, yes, my insurance company/body shop repair have made me crazy all week with false information about when my car would be ready. And yes that was going to cost a lot of money. And yes they called just as I was leaving to go to the eye doctor, and needed to get in and out of their to get to scuba. And yes, I wasn’t able to make scuba.  All so minor compared to life and death so honestly, why is that an open invitation to come home and eat myself into a coma? What good does it do?

I was sad. Stressed. Angry. Tired.

None of that is changed by eating crappy food. I feel sad that I recognized that I was eating to medicate myself and did it anyway. But at least it wasn’t mindless. I suppose that is progress.

I will be stressed when my blood sugar is up in the morning.

I’m angrier at myself than I was at the insurance company.

And boy am I tired. My body is upset and confused and uncomfortable. It doesn’t know how to deal with all this crap. Let’s not discuss the resulting gas. I pity my family tonight.

For accountability, I am recording that tonight I ate the following that was NOT on plan:

  • 1 slice of banana bread (organic, whole wheat, no eggs or milk) – 2 points
  • 1 slice of multigrain bread with butter – 2 points
  • 1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese – toasted – 4 points
  • 1/2 cup of cashews – 8 points
  • 1 dove dark chocolate – 1 point

17 points.  Almost a day’s worth of points.

Hmm. Interesting. My b12 shot is due tomorrow. Perhaps once again I’ve been caught by the b12 deficiency and it just happens to be a stressful Friday.

Well. Whatever.

I am going to draw a veil over today and call it done. I will sleep and wake up and start a new day. Take my b12 and go to yoga class. Go to a makeup scuba class. I can admire my beautifully repaired car. I can be pleased about the fact that I’m having eye problems because my eyes have improved.  But mostly? I will just be thankful that I have my health and that my son and husband are happy and healthy. Those are the really important things.

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