Selfish or Focused?

Got a rude awakening this morning from my husband. I was in my Friday morning dither of trying to get out early for my Weight Watcher’s meeting. Complicated by the fact that I needed to pack my scuba stuff so I could go straight to class after work. Also, having a clothes crisis as all my 14’s are now too big and some of the 12’s, but the 10’s are still a bit snug. (As evidence, the pair that split open from waistband to never-land when I bent over yesterday. Oops!)

So anyway –  I was racing around and my son was trying to show me something and I wasn’t paying attention. Then my husband said “Don’t worry about it. She”s not interested. She never is.”

Wham!  Right in the stomach, figuratively speaking.

Is that true? Am I so selfish and self-centered? I don’t think so. But he’s such a truthful person, that it has to be part of his perception or he wouldn’t have said it. So he thinks I’m not ever interested in what he’s doing or what Jacob is doing. That’s sad. Because I think about them all the time. I just feel that for the last couple of months I’ve been a loon, racing from one thing to another and trying to fit in too much. Boot camp, WIT seminar, scuba class, weight watchers, exercise, organizing stuff around the house. Oh and work. Funny how that’s last on the list!

So boot camp is over and scuba class is soon over. WIT and Weight Watchers are only once a week. Exercise has to stay there, so does work. But I  could definitely start to help out more or just hang out more next week – after Saturday which is jam packed with social events that the boys are not attending. Sigh. And it’s my anniversary on Sunday.  Not sure how we’re going to manage to get some time alone as Jacob has a baseball game that night.  Maybe we need to celebrate as a family and do something for just the two of us later.

I had been thinking about the scuba certification trip as a chance for us to spend some time as a couple. We could go to Cozumel or somewhere and both dive together on the trip.

Sigh. This relationship work is just as hard as all the other stuff and so important. I love my husband. I love our life together. But he has some issues, apparently. Got to work those out.

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2 thoughts on “Selfish or Focused?

  1. I think the emerging relationship is what has issues. Not just your husband. Look, everything is changing. Not surprising that everyone has adjustments to make….

  2. Everything in life revolves work, doesn’t it. Can’t tell you how great it was to see you on Saturday. Wish we had the whole day together! Hope the rest of your day went well!!

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