So all day yesterday there was this nagging feeling that I was gaining weight and fat and blah blah blah. I was convinced it was all in my head until I took off my clothes last night and realized I’d grabbed a pair of size 10 pants yesterday instead of the size 12. No wonder I felt like a sausage all day!
The good news is that I can wear size 10 pants. The bad news, is I thought, the whole day, that I was already screwing up maintenance. I need to relax more and trust in the process and the progress that I’ve made. I’ve learned so much. I’ve changed my whole life. There is nothing about my life that is conducive to gaining back 147 pounds. There are no sweet and salty treats in my pantry and no stacked cases of Coca-Cola. My freezer is bereft of half gallon cartons of my favorite icecream, logs of cookie dough and frozen pizzas.
If I want something off plan, I have to go out of my house. What’s in my house and at my desk is all on plan. I have vegetables and lean protein and high fiber, good carbs. I have oatmeal prepped and ready for breakfast or eggs and frozen sprouted grain bread for toast if I feel like a change. I have fat free yogurt and milk and frozen fruit and protein powder to whip up a healthy smoothie if I want something sweet and creamy.
I know how to measure and weigh my food – both with tools and by eye. I am more self-aware about my eating than I have ever been in my entire life – including when I was on strict diets, where supposedly I was paying attention.
I have memberships at two gyms so I can swim or weight lift or kickbox depending on my mood. My bicycle is always leaning against the wall in the garage, ready to hit the streets. My sneakers (all three pair!) are easy to find and I now, officially, have more workout clothes and athletic socks than I do regular clothes.
A nurse from my insurance company came out this morning to give me a physical for my new life insurance policy. The expectation (to be confirmed by the underwriters) is that I would be able to get twice as much insurance, for another 30 years, with twice as much coverage, for the same price I was able to get 8 years ago. As much as I decry those insurance tables, I’m pretty psyched about the idea that I might finally fall into the “select” or even “standard” category for the first time in my adult life. And there was the added benefit of being able to share my story with the nurse this morning. She categorically did not believe I had been that heavy – she said she couldn’t imagine it. So I whipped out my handy 8×10 before and during photo collection (I put it together for the Weight Watcher’s Success Forum two weeks ago) and showed her. I got the jaw drop – love that!
That’s the best feeling EVER. Better and more comforting that my weight in chocolate or french fries. I love that so many of my friends have been making changes and improving their health, too. If I’ve had a hand in inspiring that, then that makes me feel fabulous.
Day Three is just going to keep getting better.