I’m still reading all the blogs from A Weight Lifted from the Green Mountain at Fox Run program. It makes me nostalgic about how long I’ve been on this road to health and how many things I’ve tried to get control of my eating. Twelve years ago this week, in the winter of 1998/1999 I went to Green Mountain for four weeks to focus on my compulsive/emotional eating and binging. I learned so much: about food and emotions; food and health; food and life. I also learned about exercise, but frankly, I kind of ignored all that at the time and focused on the eating.
So much of what I’m doing now started there: that was where I first encountered Geneen Roth’s books. That was where I first learned about really healthy cooking – making my own stock, vegetables, lean proteins – and that was where I started learning about the balancing act between carbs and protein and fat. That was also, now that I think about it, where I learned about trying different kinds of exercise until I found something that worked for me.
Most importantly, that was where I finally learned to forgive myself for the binging and stop the horrible cycle of binge, guilt, binge, guilt that kept me prisoner for most of my life. To be kind to myself. To start the long road towards self-love. I’m not done yet, but I’m closer than I’ve ever been and ever day I get a little closer.
So – Never give up, never surrender! Galaxy Quest was a funny movie, but you know something? Maybe they were stumbling around, not realizing that they were on a quest, that what they were doing was real. But when they did, they chose not to give up, even though they knew they could fail.
I have tried so many things in the last 35 years. So many diets, exercise programs, shakes, pills, powders, soups and even cookies! (What was I thinking??) Losing weight wasn’t about finding the perfect vitamins and supplements or the best tasting protein powder, though, of course, those have helped. For me the combination for success (so far) has been focusing on how I MOVE, what and how I EAT, how I LIVE and then to THINK about all that. For me, that means weight loss counseling, Weight Watchers, surgery, exercise, group support and my writing.
All that is a pretty long-winded way of saying that I KNOW that even though I might try a million times and fail, as long as I try a million and one times, I’m going to succeed.