Time keeps on turning, turning – into the future! It’s the last week of the year and time for a little retrospective.
I’ve been on this journey towards health since January 2007. That’s four years. And no, I didn’t lose much weight that year and I didn’t keep ANY of it off, but I did get started. I just wasn’t consistent, which was always my problem. I think the best thing I did that year was join Weight Watchers. Even when I wasn’t making progress, I was paying attention EVERY WEEK. Something I had never done before.
2008 was better, still not a lot of pounds lost, but so many habits changed and my mind-set was getting to be where it needed to be. I KNEW I needed to eat better and exercise more and live life to the fullest – all at the same time and consistently! What a concept, huh? Still, up and down – losing the same 20 pounds over and over for most of the year. Still, I went into a funk in October and lost all the ground I’d gained in the battle.
2009 was still off occasionally, but became all about forgiveness and course correction. For a change, I was more on path than off and for the first time in my life, I ended the year weighing less than at the start of the year. Then I had my big fall in July of that year. After that, it felt as if I had my feet firmly set on the path and I was committed to doing WHATEVER it took to get healthy again – modified eating style, exercise as much and as often as I could, weight loss counseling, support groups, surgery and still keeping up with the weekly support from my weight watcher’s group.
2010 has been so amazing for me – it is the first year of my life that I was on track for an ENTIRE YEAR. The first year in a long time that I didn’t have any health issues – no surgeries, no hospitalizations, no medications. And for the second year in a row, I ended the year weighing less than I started the year. Although 2010 started with me still over 200, I made it into the Century Club in February when I lost my first 100 pounds. And I will never forget how it felt to enter sweet, sweet Onderland in March when the scale dipped below 200 pounds for the first time since college – rolling the clock back almost 25 years. I loved that I did all those boot camps and a triathlon and a 5k – learned to scuba, belly dance, rock climb and so much more. Learning to use my body and build strength and endurance and energy.
This year, once again, I went into a funk in October, but instead of abandoning everything, I decided that I’d be gentle with myself and just shoot for MAINTAINING. That seems to have worked. I’m indulging myself a bit more on some days, but back to basics on most days. No super-duper exercise routines, but lots of steady, brisk walking. And I haven’t gained any weight. I know I’m flabbier, and I have to kick it in gear to recover from that, but I know I can do it.
It’s a nice feeling to look ahead to 2011 and think, now if I can only get back to strength training and lose that last 25 pounds. Compared to the overwhelming effort of getting started and trying to lose 150 pounds, that doesn’t sound so bad, but I’m still going to break it up into small goals. First goal: to get back to doing strength training with my daily cardio and to lose 5% of my current weight – about 9 pounds. That also puts me under my endocrinologist’s goal weight and makes me a lifetime Weight Watcher’s member, which are pretty special goals. Second goal: do the half marathon and lose another 5% – about 8 pounds. And when I get those done, then the final 5% goal – about 6 pounds and hey – maybe a 10k! Why not?
For the first time in my life, I’m not figuring out how fast I can get to those goals. I’m not setting a goal of doing it in one month or 8 weeks – though, who am I kidding? I love schedules! Instead I’m setting a goal of doing it in a way that I can maintain – no deprivation – no weird soup diets or pills. Just me and my pouch and my HEALTHY low carb/lean protein eating plan, vitamins, water, exercise and therapy.
I don’t regret this three-month break. Because I didn’t stop living healthy, and I didn’t go that far off track. I just stopped expecting to lose every week. No, I’m not as toned as I was in September, but despite that, I feel mentally strong and stable and not scared anymore. I know what I have to do to maintain, so I feel as if it’s safe to work towards my goal now. I’m no longer afraid that I’m finally going to reach it and then fail, which would be heartbreaking.
My New Year’s resolution? Next December, when I’m looking ahead to 2012, I want to be able to say “2011? This was the year I kept the magic going”.