Do What I Say, Not What I Do

Oh wait, I did have my stomach stapled. Why was that again? Oh right, so I could be healthy. Really off the rails this week and need to get back on, so here’s the unvarnished truth of what I really did:

All week while I was ice bound, I tried to motivate myself by writing about how to get moving, keep moving and tell if you are moving enough. Yet I was only able to get myself onto the treadmill once all week and the only other exercise I did was a four hour amble around the Tennessee Aquarium yesterday.

Last night I laid out my exercise clothes, went to sleep early, set the alarm and was absolutely, positively going to make i to kickboxing class. But I slept through the alarm. And about a hundred snooze alarms. My only excuse is that being up all night Sunday for the software release left me more tired than 8 hours of sleep and I slept for 11 hours. Wow. That’s a lot of sleep.

So what now? It’s 8:30 AM, I have a couple of hours until I need to get to work. It isn’t iced over anymore, I can go to the gym. I can get out for a walk. I can go up and do my beautiful treadmill and watch a movie in the comfort of my own home. What is it that is keeping me from getting in some exercise? Here is a list of excuses that come to mind, most of them big fat lies:

  • I’m tired (just slept 11 hours…)
  • I don’t feel like going out (yet I complain of cabin fever)
  • I would wake up the whole household if I did my treadmill (not really true – pretty insulated – plus, they have to get up anyway)
  • My wrist hurts (since when do you use your wrists for walking?)
  • I’m kind of sore and achy all over (Yep. Happens every time you stop exercising.)
  • My toe is still bothering me (Uh huh. And you haven’t thought of that toe for weeks.)
  • I’m not sure where my sneakers are. (I am. Right next to the treadmill.)
  • I really need to get into the office early. (Why? You have to stay until 6:30. Going in at 10:00 or 10:30 is fine.)
  • I just don’t feel like it

Well – that’s the only real reason. So why don’t I feel like exercising? I made it through my maintenance period without gaining weight and I know that is because I kept exercising all through the crazy holiday period and traveling for vacation. So now what? I’m going to gain weight and go off track because I said I was going to try and lose 2.5 pounds?

Pause.

Wow. That’s it. I’m afraid of losing 2.5 pounds. Or rather, I’m afraid I won’t do it. Can’t do it. Jeeze louis! That is the silliest thing my subconscious has thrown at me in a while. I’m afraid that I can’t lose 2.5 pounds. I’m going to attack emotion with logic:

Losing 2.5 pounds requires a calorie deficit of 8750 calories. If I create a 500 calorie deficit every day for 18 days. 18 days,  I am pretty darn sure I can lose 2.5 pounds. I can do that with just some good solid exercise and eating 1200 calories a day because my BMR is 1821 with no exercise at all. If I eat 1200 calories a day, then I’m creating a 621 calorie deficit every day. If I then add in burning at least 400 calories a day by exercise, then I should lose 2.5 pounds in one week. Of course, for me, I know it depends on what I eat, when I eat and how I eat. I need to crank up my protein and limit my carbs to about 50 grams a day. For some reason, my body is just super, super carb sensitive. So though I don’t GAIN any weight when I eat more carbs (as long as I’m exercising) I know that I don’t really lose any weight until I cut back and start eating CLEAN.

Eating clean is lean protein, vegetables and complex carbs like quinoa with only some very low glycemic fruits like blueberries. Almond butter, almonds (in limited quantities), olive oil and other good healthy sources of fat. All my vitamins. All the water I’m supposed to drink (this is hard for me in the winter. Need to work on that.)

Okay. I’m feeling calm again. I’ve faced my fear, irrational though it was and I’m going to go do my treadmill while I drink some water. Then I’m going to pack up my lunch, my vitamins and my snacks and get to work and start working on my next goal.

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4 thoughts on “Do What I Say, Not What I Do

  1. OH FOR HEAVENS SAKE!!!!! You can do 2.5 Lbs with your hands tied behind your back! Just do what you KNOW works – you’ve done it already HOW MANY times?! Use all that fancy math to figure out how many times you have accomplished that simple goal – you are an EXPERT at it! Now quit your bitchin’ and get at it! See you on friday?!
    Love,
    Jane 🙂
    PS. You’re welcome, for the butt kicking.

  2. Karen,
    You and I are very different…you are analytical and driven. I am about as lazy as the day is long and I have no analytical skills. Haha! Maybe not that bad, but yes…that’s how it is. But I have been thinking about this. I think that 2.5 pound goal put you over the edge. It’s like the time I decided to run that half marathon. I looked at the training schedule…12 miles some weekends and it started to feel horribly oppressive and I didn’t want to do it. It’s human nature in some ways…when you feel pushed, you push back. Right now, a more zen-like attitude is serving me better. I exercise because it feels good and I enjoy the time. I plan ahead for when I am going to exercise but not necessarily what. I was there for an hour today when I heard school would be two hours late…I started to get a twinge of “I should stay later…” but I repressed that and went home!
    I think it does not pay to be too hard on yourself. Give yourself lots of credit for how far you have come and for all the things you do, but don’t be your own worst enemy with the goals and plans.
    I love your blog and your posts!!!
    Teresa

  3. Zen, huh? Well, I always say I’ll try anything once! And I’m reading this book called Eating in the Light of the Moon and what you said is very similar to what the author is saying. Maybe all that goal setting is just getting old after over 30 years?
    In any event, I did make it on the treadmill, had a great 45 minute walk and really enjoyed the hell out of it. Felt a lot better after I got off than when I got on, so I’m doing it again this morning!
    Thanks, T!

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