You know that I’ve been reading Dr. Anita Johnston’s book – Eating in the Light of the Moon. Last night I read the chapter on Dreamtime.  Listen to this:

“If there is a certain problem you want help with, make a mental note just before falling asleep at night, to ask for a dream that will give you the insight or guidance you need. Whatever your struggle happens to be with food, fat or eating, ask for a dream that will reveal the symbolism of food, what fat means to you or what feelings you are trying to express or suppress by eating. Ask for helping in discovering the underlying issues you need to resolve or the attitude that will be most helpful to your recovery process. You may not get a dream immediately, it may take weeks, but when you do get the dream, there is a good chance you will recognize it as the one you asked for.”

So after reading that, I found a beautiful green leather notebook that is very special to me. I got out a brand new, gel pen that I love writing with and found a fresh page in my notebook. Then I wrote the following down at the top of the blank page:

Dream Notes

Saturday, January 29, 2011

What blocks me from reaching my goal?

Why don’t I keep working towards it and making progress?

Why do I keep going off track?

As soon as I put the notebook aside, I could FEEL the mental blocks going up. It was like one of those scenes from Matrix with the walls being built up out of nothing and clicking together to trap me inside. I could feel my shoulders tensing up and my neck turtling down into my chest.  It was only for a few seconds, but I paid attention. I did some deep breathing, deliberately relaxed my shoulders, my neck and unclenched my teeth. Then I started repeating a kind of mantra that I made up on the spot:

I want to see. I need to understand. I’m strong enough to see the answer. I’ve been afraid too long. I want to see. I need to understand. I’m strong enough to see the answer. I’ve been afraid too long.

Over and over until I fell asleep.