I’m not someone who likes to think that I need anyone else. I’ve always prided myself on being able to take care of myself, do what needs to be done and an innate ability to survive. (Hilariously, I first wrote that as inane ability to survive and thought about leaving it!)
Where was I? Oh, right, surviving. Innately or inanely, I’m a survivor. I go through the worst case scenario in my head about losing my husband and know that my son and I would survive, financially, and eventually, after more grief than I care to imagine, we’d survive emotionally as well. Life would not be as good, as rich, as warm and as loving, but we’d be okay. Eventually.
Being able to survive without him isn’t the point, though. The point is that I am not alone. I have this amazing love in my life. This warmth and support. Even when I’m at my lowest, he can make me smile. In all the 48 years of my life, very few people have been able to do that. A few rare friends. It’s that day to day connection: wake up and hug; hug and go to sleep. Smile in between. That’s what I’m grateful for today.
Just wanted to say.