Today is Monday, March 28, 2016. I have been abstinent for 7 days. <cue the trumpeters!>
I’ve been learning and thinking a lot since last Sunday night. Oddly, I’ve been more peaceful about food than I can ever remember being. Usually I’m white-knuckling it through just about every day when I’m “on plan”. Every meal is a struggle and I think about food ALL THE TIME. I am angry and irritable and God help anyone who gets in my way.
This week? Not so much. I facilitated a really big strategy session at work. Usually that sort of thing stresses me out, which leads to eating, which leads to over eating and descent into at least a brief period where I am out of control.
Not this week. My workout was a success. I lost a pound and a half – woot!
I think the difference is that in the past, I would have skipped my walks and workouts to make time for the work. This week, I actually walked MORE than usual, went to pilates every single day after work and ate nutritionally dense foods. I cut back on my caffeine and drank about 100 ounces of water a day and took all my vitamins.
Whoa! Who is that masked woman? Ha ha. Seriously. When I think of having a successful week at work, those are not the things I thought about in the past. I think this job is good for me. There are no late nights or early mornings or weekends. 40 hours is the rule and there has to be a really good reason to make an exception to that rule.
Another thing that seems to have changed. In the past, when I was working on my eating problems, I’ve focused on writing and making plans (a diet, an exercise schedule, etc.). Those are actually the first of the OA tools that I started to use. The past few weeks, instead of writing and planning, I’ve been more focused on meetings and literature. I’ve been attending meetings either live or online and listening to podcasts and reading the OA and AA literature. My brain is still resistant, but not as much as it was, so that’s progress.
Part of me wants to cringe at all the things I’ve written with such authority about losing weight and getting on track and blah blah blah. Sure, it worked for me. But never for the long term. No matter how much I lost or how long I stayed on track (18 months, 150 pounds was my highest after WLS), I fell off the wagon. Today I am trying to be more humble and learn from the other compulsive over eaters that have gone before me on this path. I am the student and I am ready for the teachers.
So, for today, I have been abstinent for 7 days. Tomorrow I have a plan for doing it again, but that’s as far as I can commit. One day at a time.