It’s just a number

My Weight History in Numbers

5

What I weighed at birth. I am happy to say I have no burning desire to get back to this weight. 1963.

150

What I weighed at the end of high school when I thought I was fat. I wore size 16. I wish I could go back and tell her how perfect she was, just the way she was with no need to starve or take pills or exercise to the point of pain and injury. 1981

220

What I weighed at the end of freshman year after a year of my all you can eat food plan. I had never had access to this kind of food or so much of it. 1982.

180

What I weighed after a semester abroad in London where I was broke, eating vegetarian and walking miles and miles every day in 1984.

280

What I weighed when I left for a six month job in the Africa Division at Coca-Cola in 1993.

199

What I weighed when I met my husband in 1995.

235

What I weighed when I started hiking the Appalachian Trail. Too heavy and my ankles gave out. 1998.

235

What I weighed on my wedding day. Why was I weighing on my wedding day???? 1998.

270

What I weighed when I found out I was pregnant with Jacob. 2001.

321

My highest recorded weight. Diabetes. Sleep apnea. Arthritis. Joint pain. Chest pains. Unable to do much of anything. My doctor recommended weight loss surgery. 2005.

291

What I weighed after two years of trying to lose weight and begin exercising and eating healthy. Poor balance led to a bad fall and the decision to have weight loss surgery. 2009.

278

What I weighed when I had weight loss surgery. 2009.

170

My lowest weight after surgery and before the hunger came back. 2010.

260

What I weighed when I joined OA. 2016.

240

What I weighed when I discovered Bright Line Eating and surrendered to my addiction to flour and sugar.

189

What I weigh today. 2018.

865

Number of days in OA.

169

My next goal weight. To get below my lowest after surgery weight and not have ab obese or overweight BMI. When??? 4 months? More? Less? Don’t know.

149

My new, ultimate goal weight. At my height of 5’4″ I am told I could go to 125. But I’d be pretty scrawny at 149, so I might stick somewhere between 169-125.

Somedays I marvel at how thin I am. Somedays I am overwhelmed by how fat I am. I wear a size 12 which is awesome but shows how sizes are such a joke because I know I’m bigger. I do have some body dismorphia but I know I’m bigger and flabbier than I was at 199 in 1998. And yet, I am much more at peace with this size than I have ever been. 2018 is a good year.

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