Ran my first continuous mile

I’m starting to realize that I don’t push myself often enough.

I just ran my first continuous mile in 10 minutes 53 seconds – much faster than I thought I could.

I walked and recovered for 90 seconds, then thought, hang on, I think I can do another one. It was even faster! 10 minutes 43 seconds.

I walked, stretched and breathed and thought why not? Ran ANOTHER mile in 11 minutes 33 seconds.

3.2 miles, 3 running, the rest recovery time – all under 36 minutes. Which means I shaved 12 minutes off the 5k I walked/ran in the Triathlon in June.  I didn’t actually have a speed goal – just wanted to be able to run one mile, without stopping.

Like I said, I don’t push myself hard enough, often enough.

Today I did and to prove it I have a blister on my instep and another one on my toe. My back and legs are tight and I am beat. But I did it.  I ran a 5k. It was hard – I had to really push myself.  Not so much physically, though that was part of it. Mostly it was my brain. My brain that wants to set limits and past that “thou shalt not go”.

I felt elated and victorious when I finished. Walking back, singing The Climb at the top of my lungs and then punching the air to Eye of the Tiger. Then I started to feel overwhelmed with something else. I cried a little bit. I came home and got praise and hugs from Fred and Jacob. Fred made me a celebratory cup of tea while I had a soak in the bath.

I think what I was feeling was regret and fear. Not much. Just a tiny bit. Regret that I didn’t realize years ago that all this was within my grasp. That it was up to me to make it happen.

The fear is harder. It sounds boastful to say it out load, but I was feeling fear because if I can do anything, then that means I can make all my dreams come true.

I just have to push a little harder.

Historic Occassion

Mark this down: August 18, 2010, 9:18 am: I actually liked the way I looked.

Yep. I liked the front view, the side view and the back view. I was not focused on the belly or any “shrinkle” areas. I even took a picture and mailed it out to my sisters to mark the historic occasion.

It wasn’t just a one moment kind of thing; it kept going all day. I got to boot camp and changed into my workout clothes and tee-shirt and I even liked that. (Although I had to take my glasses off to quiet the concerns about the shrinkles.  (If you don’t know what shrinkles are, they are the wrinkles caused when you lose a lot of weight, or shrink. So we call them “shrinkles”. Mine are not that bad, but I can see them, of course!)

Another great moment at boot camp was realizing that I ran for 8 solid minutes for the warm up. Not super fast, but consistent speed for 8 minutes. Another personal best. I’m starting to feel pretty excited about my Survigersary 5k next week.

Wow! Next week? How did that happen? Is it really a year since I had surgery? A solid year of being focused and on track and successful. It is hard to think back to where my head was last year. I look at some of my old writing and plans and think “Did I really think that was enough?” because, frankly, it wasn’t.

I think that is why so many super morbidly obese people stay super morbidly obese. It takes a full-out attack, an onslaught of apocalyptic proportions to begin to tip the scales (literally) in the other direction. The surgery wasn’t the first thing I did or the last, but it was the one that won the war. Like bringing Gatling guns into the Civil War. Or the Atomic Bomb into WWII. The allies were so far behind, that even if the Weight Watchers ground troops were eating right and the drill sergeants were exercising – they couldn’t do it on their own. They needed those big guns, plus a steady stream of battle related intelligence from my weight loss therapist. And don’t forget the impact of morale on the battle: my letters to the front were my husband, my son, my friends, my family and in person and online weight loss communities. The blogging and Facebook postings earn me so much support and comments from my friends. I’ve made a lot of new friends, too. Friends who have taught me so much and understand that even after the war is won, the cold war will continue forever. Battling my demons and keeping them in their place while I maintain the weight loss. In some ways, that is the most dangerous part, and it is still to come.

But for today, I’m going to enjoy the victory celebrations, because it has been a hell of a good fight and an amazing year.  I’m really looking forward to this next year. I have so much planned already: I’m going to keep writing; finish boot camp; get scuba certified; learn belly dancing; some rock climbing (maybe); a trip to DC in the fall; Phoenix and Tahoe for the winter break; more skiing in February; my 48th birthday in March (probably going skiing for that) and the Warrior Dash in May.

Whew! A year ago I would have been tired just reading that! But now, I guess I just need to get busy!

Have a great day!

PS: I hope you have a day where you like what you see in the mirror.